Daydream
by DarkSilverHawk
Summary: Bella was starting to get a bit boring... Maybe Charlie would provide a bit of a thrill? Edward's POV. ExC. Crack fic. Set shortly after Twilight.


**A/N: This is not to be taken seriously in any context. It was written for a friend after an unfortunate conversation in which, through unfortunate word choice, she made it sound like Charlie was in love with Edward. It exists purely for amusement(?) value.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight.**

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Edward leaned against the windowsill. Renee was in town, and Bella had gone off to spend some time alone with her, leaving Edward to wait here in her room. She would be getting back any minute.

He closed his eyes and imagined what might happen that night. It would probably be the same as usual. Bella would come home, and decide to go to bed a little earlier than usual tonight. He'd meet her at the top of the stairs and they'd talk for a while, and then she'd crawl into bed and they'd cuddle for a while. She'd fall asleep, and he'd continue to lay there until morning. Things were much more interesting back when he and Carlisle-

He shook his head. Bella. He was in love with Bella now. Not Carlisle. Not Jasper.

He opened his eyes as a car pulled into the driveway. Edward looked down to see Charlie getting out of the car. Charlie… now there was an idea. He closed his eyes again and took a small step away from the window as he planned it out.

He would meet Charlie at the door. He would say that the door was unlocked and he let himself in. They'd make mindless small talk for a while, then it would break off into the awkward silence it usually became. Then, when Charlie was paying the least attention, he'd lean in and kiss him. Charlie would look shocked for a moment, completely astounded and wondering what to do now. He'd lean in again while he was still in shock and kiss him again, more forcefully, passionately. They'd lose themselves in the moment and slowly shed clothing, piece by piece, until there was nothing left. He imagined their bodies pushing together-

He was pulled from his thoughts by the sound of the door slamming. It was too late for that one.

Edward thought up a different scenario. He'd run downstairs, beginning the kiss before he could react and pinning the older man to a wall. It would be deliberate. Every movement would be carefully planned and executed. It would reveal Edward to be a man with far more experience than his 17-year-old appearance would suggest.

Or, perhaps, Edward thought, he would wait a little longer. He'd wait for Bella to fall asleep, as usual, then sneak out of her room. He'd grab the pair of handcuffs Charlie kept in his car, and the ones in the hall closet that Edward suspected were never intended to be used for arresting anyone. He'd enter Charlie's room, and handcuff both of his arms to the bedposts. Before he could fully wake up, he'd whisper fake promises and words of comfort to him. He'd get him convinced that he was simply dreaming, and then he'd be free to do as he pleased, as long as he didn't make too much noise. There were certainly many things he wanted to try that simply didn't work with other vampires. And most of them he had certainly tried, usually in closets or hotel rooms or places deep in the woods where Alice would never think to look

But Charlie, he would be warm and sleepy and so deliciously alive. His back would arch in a way Jasper's never did. Humans never got as much pleasure out of it as the much more sensitive vampires could, but they experienced a different kind of pleasure. He could tell by looking at them, feeling them, smelling them, tasting them. It was rawer, lustful, almost savage. Something his carefully planned movements could never be.

And poor Charlie was positively starved for sex. It wasn't something anyone else knew. He could tell from his thoughts that it was a closely guarded secret. And he wasn't the type of man to pull the secretary behind the desk and lock the door. He'd welcome someone beside him – and inside him – as long as someone else initiated it. Especially if he thought it was all a dream. And by the time he realized it wasn't, if he ever did, he'd be too deep in a haze of pleasure to care.

He continued to plan and daydream, allowing it to become more explicit and dirty with each passing second. The mere thought of all the things they could do made his body tingle with excitement. He was in the middle of a particularly messy fantasy involving whipped cream when he heard the dull roar of Bella's truck in the distance. He let out a small sigh. He wasn't going to do any of that. He wasn't fooling anyone. Tonight he'd go through the same routine as always. It was tedious, but it was worth it if he got to spend the rest of his existence with her.

And he could always pull Jasper into an empty classroom tomorrow and lock the door.


End file.
